How Do I Convince My Wife I Need More Space?


Greg@mnrr

Greg@mnrr

Section Hand
I need to expand my layout and the only remaining space for a yard is where an old layout was and is now storage shelves and a holding area for items we no longer need.

How do I convince my wife that we need to move the shelves and decide what to keep and what to throw away? Do I send her a trip and do the work while she's gone or buy her a nice present and hope for the best?

I can't be the only husband in a situation like this.

Help!!!

Greg
 
Have you tried groveling? :p

Possibly you could leave the area under the yard for storage. I managed to take a spare room, 9 x 13 years back because it was no longer being used. Groveling did work.
 
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montanan said:
Have you tried groveling? :p
Possibly you could leave the area under the yard for storage. I managed to take a spare room, 9 x 13 years back because it was no linger being used. Groveling did work.
Click to expand...

That and there is always the old adage: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission! ;)

For me the conversation went like this:
Me: Honey, I drilled a hole in the wall.
Her: Why did you do that?
Me: The railroad needed to expand.
Her: I was afraid of that...
 
Greg@mnrr said:
I need to expand my layout and the only remaining space for a yard is where an old layout was and is now storage shelves and a holding area for items we no longer need.

How do I convince my wife that we need to move the shelves and decide what to keep and what to throw away?
Click to expand...
Can't you just take the space from the shelf that is at the level that the layout needs to be and leave the rest? Let the layout have shelves over and under it?
 
"We haven't used this stuff in years, lets take it to the Salvation Army", or "I am tired of seeing this, lets get rid of it"

Then, "Look at the space we have, I think I will use it for my railroad"...
 
As several of the guys have stated, groveling worked for me. I went from a 9x12 room, to the double garage. There I got a full 17x23', and except for a short 4' section, I can walk all around the layout, inside or out. The 4' section where I can't walk around, has nothing but straight track on it, so I anticipate little trouble with it when the scenery is in place.
 
I don't know jack about model railroads, or women, but I do know a few things about human nature. Find out what she wants and incorporate that into the plan. e.g. You want storage for your stuff? Done. When she comes in and sees a huge layout, you point to the drawers of storage you have built under it. OR You want all of this stuff that was in storage gone? Done. You trash it all (you don't need it anyway right?) and build out the model railroad. etc, etc. I would perhaps think of doing a combination of that and what the others have said about doing it and asking for forgiveness. e.g. You know what she wants, go do it and build the railroad. "Hey, I did what you wanted, and I did something I wanted".
 
Greg,

I would just start using it. As they say "Its easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission". Besides, once its started she will feel guilty asking you to tear it out.

Larry
 
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Forum:

I think she's agreed to my railroad expansion after several discussions about the benefits of new storage shelving. Also I explained that this project wouldn't happen until next winter and she seems to be ok with that. My plan is not to bring up the subject again, but start the new shelving when she is gone for the day. Once the new project starts it will be hard for her to stop the work.

Plus a promise of nice dinner will smooth things out...I hope.

Greg
 
My wife wanted a new car, so I found her one. I wanted to fix up the basement so I could build my dream railroad, so I did it. Sometimes you just have to put your big boy pants on. ;)
 
number9 said:
I don't know jack about model railroads, or women, but I do know a few things about human nature. Find out what she wants and incorporate that into the plan. e.g. You want storage for your stuff? Done. When she comes in and sees a huge layout, you point to the drawers of storage you have built under it. OR You want all of this stuff that was in storage gone? Done. You trash it all (you don't need it anyway right?) and build out the model railroad. etc, etc. I would perhaps think of doing a combination of that and what the others have said about doing it and asking for forgiveness. e.g. You know what she wants, go do it and build the railroad. "Hey, I did what you wanted, and I did something I wanted".
Click to expand...

My graduate work is in human conflict studies, and as a 30 year veteran of the Canadian Armed Forces, I generally agree with this. In order to win your 'case', you must firstly know what her needs are for the space, and then offer her both that AND your needs in a nice 'n tidy package that will make her say, "Yes, go for it." If you do all the ground work, all the figuring, and make it clear you understand that she want's a share in all spaces in the home, even if they are strictly for her purposes and NOT yours, you will likely get her support. If not, you have other problems....frankly....and had best get to work on them before buying a single stick of milled lumber. It could get a lot more costly than that tiny price.

Nobody warms much to faits accomplis. It would be as successful in a home with tight finances where you have both been tight about how you are going to move ahead, and then one of you goes out and trades in your six year old low-mileage 4-door sedan on a new 4-door pickup for a mere $40K more. You drive up to the house and announce triumphantly that this is the way it's going to be from now on...your way. I wouldn't bet on it...not with you both under one roof.

Be a gentleman, introduce the subject, and negotiate in good faith. Also, gash that terribly dishonest notion of 'need' about your hobby. There is no need, only desire for the use of discretionary income. You don't need a larger space, you have dreams of being accorded a larger space. By definition, that means getting agreement for it. Find a way. There is one. Maybe not.
 
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